Mile markers

 Last Sunday I woke up early and drove alone to Alameda to run my very first race, a half marathon.  I never understood why anyone in their right mind would want to run a race, the same way most people don't understand why I wanted to experience natural childbirth.  Why go through all that pain and suffering?


Yet there I was,  waiting at the starting line.  So here's how I got there... Back in January I decided I needed to find a free and quick workout regimen that I could fit into my packed schedule.  Running around the lagoon next to my workplace in Berkeley was the obvious choice.  Before I knew it, I was discussing fitness goals with a colleague who suggested we sign up for a half marathon as a group.  I whipped out my credit card and signed up for a race 5 months away, but no one else followed suit.

My training regimen consisted of 2 runs per week: one "short fast" 2.5 mile interval run (9 minute pace) and one "long slow" 5+ mile run (11-12 minute pace).  The longest distance I ran prior to the race was 12.5 miles to Ocean Beach and back home, so I felt confident and capable of 13.1 miles.

I was scared more than anything at the start, but having pacers to follow made me a lot less anxious.  Alvin sent me a custom playlist, which made me feel like he was cheering for me the entire length of the race.

While they stayed at home, the boys still showed their support.  Linus said " I hope you win the race mamma."  There were several kids on the race course cheering for their mothers, and in a weird way I felt like they were rooting for all of us mothers.

 

 We were rewarded with views of San Francisco between miles 7-9. I thought of my family and wondered what they were up to.

By the time I reached the finish, I got extremely emotional, and I was warned this might happen.  There I was, accomplishing a goal I never dreamed possible.  I was surrounded by women of every age and shape, mothers and grandmothers, who took on a challenge as mental as it is physical.  More than proud, I was inspired.

The last month of training brought additional stress to my life that I felt was untimely.  Both Mattias and I have been plugging away on time sensitive work stuff.  There were birthday parties and weekend travel plans to work around, a business trip and a memorial.  But then something unexpected happened last week while driving Linus to summer camp.  I realized: I've become the person I've always wanted to be.  I'm living the life that I'd envisioned for myself as a young adult.  This feeling had nothing to do with reaching any specific goal; it had more to do with being a person others can depend on, having a skill set that others seek, and being surrounded by people I love, and who love me.  

The half marathon was an opportunity to reflect on this new mile marker in my life and what it means to me moving forward.  More than ever I know I'm running in the right direction, I'm moving at the right pace.