Once, I was shy.

I know it's hard to believe, but once upon a time, I was shy.  I'm usually too blunt or straightforward, definitely not one to hide my feelings.  I mean, I've been described as Mattias' "pitbull of a wife!"  But literally, once, I had a hard time getting something off my tongue.
It was 17 years ago, and I was a hyperactive high school freshman with a bad perm.  I had just finished my first season on the wrestling team and decided I wanted to be a vet.  I had this friend who played guitar in my music school cover band band who also studied with me for biology tests.   He had green dread locks, dressed in the worst thrift store getups, and smelled bad; but he was funny and smart, and I really liked him.

While we passed notes between classes I wasn't the type to write "I (heart) you." on a red construction paper heart.  I did something lamer instead.  One day afterschool I said "Hey, I have something to tell you but I can't tell you now so you have to remind me later to tell you."  then sped off as fast as short girl could walk without actually running away.  Mattias knew exactly what I had to say, but he never reminded me to tell him.  So I kept on giving him the "Hey, I have something to tell you..." line, and this went on for a good 2 weeks.  I'm pretty sure it got old, and I'm pretty sure I was obvious, but there was no way I was going to come out with it.  Then one afternoon we were talking on the phone I said it again.  Instead of Mattias saying "OK." like he'd said before, he said "What? You're going to tell me you like me?  The feeling is mutual."

The rest is, history. From that day we have literally been attached at the hip, and we (at least I) like it that way.  We've shared gains and losses, growth (not in terms of height) and grief.  At this point in our lives we've been together longer than we've been without each other. And I often think of something said at a good friend's wedding: The beauty of meeting when you're young is that while you age you will always be young in each others' eyes.

So true.