Adjustments

A few months before Anders was born I freaked out about our car  seat situation.  Would a third car seat fit?  Will we have to ditch our beloved Subaru and up size to a minivan?  After a lot of research and testing various car seat configurations, we were able to fit in the third seat.  The result looked like a jigsaw puzzle of car seats, but hey, it worked!  It took a lot more time, and a little bit of cursing, but in the end we made it happen.  Well, that's kind of what has happened with the Karlsson family.  What was possible before, is still somewhat possible, it's just a little bit more complicated.

Both boys continue to love having a new brother.  I recovered fairly quickly, and am adopting a "must walk to the grocery store" fitness plan.  Mattias went back to work a couple of weeks ago, after taking 2 weeks off.  And Kerstin continues to watch Magnus most days of the week, and take the boys to their weekly tumbling class while I stay home with baby.

Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and feeding Anders takes up most of my time nowadays, and I'm finding myself multitasking at a whole new level.  If I lay down, my lap can fit both baby and dog for nap time.  And while Mattias does the dishes, I can feed Anders and read a book to the boys.

I'm notoriously stir crazy, so as soon as I could stand for more than 30 minutes at a time I insisted we go on an outing.  The Smithsonian American History museum is our new favorite-- tons of space, great kid-friendly exhibits, a good cafeteria, and the best of all: no crowds!

We spent a solid hour touring the transportation section, and we came across the 1986 Dodge Caravan, just like I had growing up.  They had a Chicago L train car and station, which the kids loved riding.  But the big hit?  A short film of the history of cars in American film making.

Anders continues to eat and sleep well.  Besides his gassy/fussy time that occurs between 2-4AM he is a very sweet, mellow boy.

He is awake more and more each day, and stares long and hard at faces and high contrast images.

He was 2 weeks old before we gave him his first bath.  Like so many infants, he did not enjoy the experience.  But his head was greasy and his armpits were funky, so we had to do it.

 

Life at home with baby is a little like being in my own warped universe.  The house can be filled with so much noise and screaming, then as soon as the older boys leave, can be instantly silent.  I run around like a crazy woman trying to keep up with the laundry, cleaning, and cooking, but I spend 4-6 hours a day sitting almost motionless on the sofa feeding Anders.  You might find me sitting in my yoga pants and hoodie "mamma uniform" drinking a glass of wine on a Tuesday afternoon.  I'm constantly plotting and coordinating our move back West, but a lot of the time have trouble remembering things or thinking of the right words to say.  How can I feel overwhelmed and bored at the same time?

For the most part, I savor the time I spend cuddling with my spit-up scented, chubby baby.  The weeks are flying by...

Homecoming for Anders

It was 3 whole days before Linus and Magnus could meet their lillebror for the first time, due to the ban on children in the hospital.  They had seen pictures of Anders throughout our hospital stay, but we were pretty sure they would be ridiculously excited to finally see him in the flesh. It seems like only yesterday when that we had Linus, and  brought Magnus home from the hospital.

As soon as they entered the house both boys were jumping and yelling "Baby! Baby! Baby!" out of pure joy.  Linus again was thrilled about our family growing, and was so tender in all his interactions with  both me and Anders.  Magnus asked a lot of questions like "Tiny baby came out now?" then moved on to playing with a new toy car he got from Anders.  

By dinnertime, things were the same as they ever were, and it felt like Anders had been with us all along.  Both of the boys get really interested when Anders cries, say during a diaper change.  Linus tells him "It's OK." and Magnus even starts singing him a song, like they taught him in the hospital siblings class.

The following day first thing, Linus asked if he could hold Anders.  He told Anders "Oh baby, you're so cute." repeatedly.  

That evening we baked Anders a birthday cake-- Linus chose chocolate raspberry layer cake.  I highly recommend the recipe to my mom friends who like to bake with the munchkins.  We made it without the ganache frosting, and topped it with a dallop of fresh whipped cream instead.  Linus sifted the dry ingredients, Magnus stirred the wet ingredients, and Linus combined everything together with minimal assistance.  I happened to have a zero candle in the cupboard so we even got to sing "Happy Birthday" and blow out the candle, before digging in.

 

Our lives have been fairly "normal" dotted with episodes of total chaos.  A few days ago Anders had a poop/pee fest that resulted in 3 diaper and 2 outfit changes, and a lot of yelling from Mattias.  I've had one good postpartum meltdown that involved wheeping, you don't need any more details than that.  But overall, I am a lot more active/useful/present than I was just a week ago.

We have a good share of quiet moments alone with Anders when Linus is at school and Magnus is with farmor.  I have to admit that I was worried that I wouldn't love Anders as much as the other two, I didn't see it possible.  But day by day, and even in the middle of the night, I find myself falling for this new man in my life.

The First Day of His Life: Anders' Birth Story

Waiting to have a baby is somewhat like waiting at the airport after your flight has been cancelled.  You're grumpy, uncomfortable, and have a lot of people asking for updates on the ETA.  It's so frustrating, having no control and little to hold on to other than a blinky information screen lots of dashes and not a lot of information.  You know you'll get to your destination eventually, that the holding pattern is temporary, but you really just want to take off.

This Tuesday, Anders and I were finally cleared for take off.  At 2AM I felt a small pop in my lower abdomen while sleeping.  Since there was no gush of water, I convinced myself I probably farted and was being overly alert for labor signs.  I sat up to go to the bathroom and that's when I knew my water broke.  Mattias called our midwife and we were instructed to head to the hospital within the next hour or so.  Since I didn't have any contractions I knew I should take my sweet time leaving the house.  I toasted (burned) a bagel for Mattias, tidied up the kitchen, and got the rest of my things together before Kerstin arrived to take care of the boys.  By 3AM I had strong contractions and was on my way to Labor & Delivery.

I will spare you the play by play details of how the labor progressed but will say that it was the most beautiful, amazing birthing experience I've ever had.  We had the opportunity to work with a certified nurse midwife (CNM) this time around and we expressed very early on our goals for an unmedicated birth.  She was supportive every step of the way and met us at the hospital to help us through the delivery.  At 4AM she said "Let's aim for having baby by 8AM." I felt she was overly confident in my abilities, but by 7:36AM we had ourselves a baby.  Anders Mangosing Karlsson was born January 29th, weighed in at a whopping 8lbs 8oz, and was 20 inches long.  Ugh, just typing that makes my pelvis hurt all over again.

Lille Anders was calm but alert, and took to nursing very easily. Much to our relief, he is perfectly healthy with all appendages and eyes accounted for.  After a little rest and much needed cleanup, we were wheeled down to the Mother & Baby ward.  I will refer to it from here out as the "Four Seasons" because it really is like a fancy hotel with maid and room service.  After scarfing down my breakfast I called into room service and said "Hi!  I just had a baby, and I'm really hungry."  I ordered 2 lunch entrees with dessert for myself, and was very pleased when it arrived just 30 minutes later.

After a lot of visits from nurses and other hospital staff it was nice when we finally got some quiet time to get to know our new little boy.  One of the first things we noticed is his "Category 5 Cowlick" at the front of his head.  Poor guy got Mattias' hair arrangement and will have trouble at the barbershop for the rest of his life.  He also has Mattias' nose and feet, but has dark grey eyes.




It's probably too soon to tell what his personality will be like, but he's been eating and sleeping really well.  Mattias is convinced that he's the most chill of the 3 boys, we'll hust have to wait and see.

After 2 days and 2 nights at the Four Seasons, we were allowed to go home with our newest family member.  Because of the recent flu pandemic, the hospital prohibited any visitors under the age of 18, including siblings, so Linus and Magnus were not able to meet Anders until 3 days after he was born (blog to follow).





A lot of folks have asked how I'm doing since the delivery, and I can honestly say "Never been better." Anders' birthday was truly one of the best days of my life for several reasons:
1) I finally got to experience childbirth, exactly the way I wanted to.  I am not at all a religious person, but I believe to my core that giving birth is the closest to God anyone can ever be.  Mattias and I created this new life, but I carried and nurtured him and brought him into this world.  I accomplished what women have been doing for eons, and what strong, brave women do every day all around the world.
2) Anders is perfectly healthy.  What kills me about modern culture is we obsess over a baby's cuteness and all the new stuff to buy, when the focus should be on a safe delivery and a healthy baby.  Having gone through all the worry with Magnus, we were able to appreciate the pure joy a happy, healthy baby brings.
3) We've done this a couple of times already, so we're not that stressed.  There's no questions of how Anders will change our lives, or what a single child vs. sibling dynamic will bring to the house.  I know: it will be more crazy, there will be more fighting, and I will be washing a lot of dirty socks.  We know that we will have even less time to ourselves and for each other.  But we also know that we have a ton of support, from family and friends both near and far.  We are sure that things will get easier and harder in different ways and at different times.  In the end, we have one more beautiful child to love.
4) I'm not pregnant anymore, and I plan on never doing it again.  'Nuff said.