Fill Er Up

Weekend rituals are a central part of our family culture, where we decide together how to balance both fun and relaxation.  Whether spent near or far, the goal is to maximize fun for effort. We planned a weekend escape to the cabin to take advantage of the gorgeous fall weather, but when we got an invitation for a full day party for a dear friend, we rearranged our plans to join the celebration.  The day started off with a kayak flotilla in the waters off Tiburon.

Our group of 6 kayaks and a floating unicorn paddled to a nearby island.  There we were treated to a picnic with a view, and martinis made to order by the birthday celebrant himself.

I'm not exaggerating, the journey was pure magic. The view of San Francisco and the planes of Fleet Week flying in the distance, surrounded by fun-loving adults and children, we were all elated by the simplicity and beauty of the celebration.  Late in the afternoon we reluctantly left, hitting the road to get to the cabin before night fell.

The following morning I could have relaxed in the cabin, but I insisted on taking the kids to Apple Hill for fresh cider and hot cider donuts. Just 20 minutes from us, Apple Hill is the kind of place best visited early.  Lucky for us, we're a get up and go family.  

Opting to stay home, Mattias sat with his parents and talked over coffee.  He would've preferred to walk across the street to Safeway to buy our pumpkins. Me, I like the visuals and hunt of a real pumpkin patch.

Back at the cabin with pumpkins and apples in tow, we got back to the usual business of exploring the river. Even though it's the same piece of land we visit, the river is always different, especially after the epic rains of last winter. Boulders shifted and island cleared, the crossing across the frigid waters was a new adventure. We also made time for iron ore collection, Nerf wars, and medicinal tea making.

Back home in San Francisco we tend to spend equal amounts of time outdoors as indoors. Escape is a short drive away, in the form of a beach, park, or attraction. Last weekend we treated Theo to Fort Funston, a national recreation area that allows off leash dogs. We picnicked while Theo romped up and down the sand dune.

After eating we walked down to the beach where the big attraction was sea foam. The party was cut short by a sneaker wave that almost stole a shoe and managed to soak most of us.

If my weekends look busy to you, it's because they are. Parenthood overwhelms me in its lack of personal time and space, set in contrast with bouts of loneliness. It's easy as parents to fall into the grind of I'm busy--I'm tired--I'm (insert excuse here.) My reaction to that rut is more fun, more friends, and more family. My secret to happiness is more, not less. So as the weekend approaches, I say "Fill er up!"

Magnus Turns 7 (Anders Busts His Head)

This year Magnus' birthday fell on a Sunday and we were able to celebrate over a weekend in style.  Instead of inviting his whole school class, we had a close celebration with family and close friends, including a sleepover with the Cody family. In following Swedish tradition, we "surprised" Magnus in bed with song, flowers, and presents.

Cards and gifts came from near and far, and our least attention seeking child was finally the center of attention. After opening presents we sat down to a special breakfast of brioche bread pudding, before I started running around to get ready for the party.

We were blessed with prime Fall San Francisco weather (a.k.a summer weather) for our picnic party at Crissy Field.  We invited guests to bring dogs, bikes, and sand toys for a day of food and relaxation.  I didn't go all out on cooking this time, making side salads abd opting to order Argentinean empenadas.  Farmor and Lola came through on decorations and all the other stuff you need to host 40 people outdoors. Alvin and Lolo helped by reserving the picnic benches in the early morning.

One of the stars of the party was a rogue gopher, who enjoyed peeking out of his burrow to check out our party.  With zoonotic disease on my mind I told the kids, "Don't pet the gopher! It's all fun and games until someone gets the plague!"

In keeping with the Minecraft theme, Magnus chose a carrot cake and topped it with homemade TNT candles. Looking at this photo I thought about how none of these kids realize how lucky they are, to be growing up and celebrating in such a beautiful place. After cake the kids were given some free time that resulted in a minor catastrophe.

Some boys were playing on top of a picnic table when Anders urged Magnus "Come and fight me!" With a single shove Anders flew off the table and landed on his head. Crying and screaming ensued, to which I responded somewhat slowly.  (Seriously, someone is always crying or hurt in my family.) When I arrived I noticed more than expected amounts of blood trickling from his forehead. A quick look and I knew Anders needed to go the ER for stitches.  After a flurry of activity involving half of the party helping with first aid, I was able to clean Anders off, close his head wound, and send him off with Mattias.

But the party must go on, and it did.  The kids lined up to beat up the Ghast piñata, my first made out of corrugated cardboard. After some 4 rounds of kids hitting, I took a turn myself, we finally made a hole big enough to dump out all the candy and toys.

The rest of the party was incredibly low key.  The kids relished in their semiautonomous time together, and since I invited my friends I was able to catch up and enjoy the gorgeous day in the company of some of my favorite people.

By late afternoon we made our way home and so did Anders. He was seen within 5 minutes of arriving at the Kaiser ER, and was given excellent care by the doctor and nurses there.  Anders shed not a single tear and even left the ER with a toy prize.  I too got a prize-- the nurses complemented my wound closure and said to Mattias "You don't even need us!"

I recognized one small triumph that day-- for the first time Magnus' birthday wasn't a reminder of the sorrow we felt when we discovered his birth defect.  Magnus is the kid at the playground that all the boys want to play with, the one with the fun ideas and great sense of humor. Today, at 7 years old, his curiosity, joy, and wonder eclipses that small part of him that caused so much worry and sadness. After opening gifts and cleaning up we ate a dinner of leftover party food and cake.  Too tired to move, we group snuggled on the couch and looked back at all that happened in a single day.

The Great Heatwave of 2017

For Labor Day I had coordinated a multi-family camping trip near a local lake.  We planned to fish, swim, bike, and bring our dogs to romp on the beach.  I had prepped meals to feed 20 people, and most of our camping gear out and ready to load.  Then the weather forecasts got worse and worse-- 116F was the high at Lake Del Valle, the hottest spot in the entire Bay Area. With temperatures similar to Death Valley, Mattias tried to talk some sense into me, "The entire purpose of this trip is to have fun, right? Do you really see anyone having fun in that heat?" For a day I researched what it was like to camp in Death Valley, purchased water guns, water balloons, and a mister. Then I came to my senses when San Francisco hit a high of 106F.

Instead we opted for a staycation, to enjoy our city in a way we almost never do. We brought all the camping food to Crissy Field for a day of grilling and chilling, and my dad brought the kids' fishing poles and a crab net to see what the bay had for us to catch.

With just a few chicken necks we trapped 3-4 small rock crabs every 15 minutes.  After an hour the boys were pros, asking when it was "Crab O'clock", and hauling the net up themselves.

For the first time in my life I swam, whole body, in the San Francisco Bay.  In the intense heat and absence of breeze, the usually cold water was an invigorating oasis. That day, our only goal was to eat and stay cool. 

The next day was cooler in temperature but with humidity that reminded us of our time in Arlington.  As promised, we brought out the kids bikes to give Linus a chance to test out his very belated birthday present.

After meeting our friends at Duboce Park and finding refuge at our neighborhood burger spot (it was too hot to cook), we came back to our roof for water play. The water balloon war, while fun at first, didn't end well. (When do they ever end well?) After eating our grilled taco feast we retreated inside for a few episodes of Voltron. In case you were wondering, yes, the grown men watched too.

On Labor Day we took a trip across the Goldden Gate to visit dear friends who recently moved back to the Bay Area.  We packed 3 bikes, 3 kids, and a 70lb dog into our car. With the trunk filled with bikes, Ted had nowhere to go but on the front seat with me.

Marin is famous for its bike trails, and we found an old rail trail near our friends' new place.  After a few miles the kids were tired, not accustomed to cycling very far.

While I normally hate diversions from my master plans, the common sense thing to do was the more enjoyable and relaxing thing to do, too.  We saw all the people we wanted to see (and then some), ate all the yummy Korean and Mexican food, biked, swam, fished, and had our dog outdoors. The heatwave didn't ruin our long weekend after all, it made it more memorable.