Goodbye, Friend (Guster March 2004-December 2015)

We are deeply saddened to share that Guster was euthanized this afternoon.  Despite being a trouper through a slow decline resulting from his spinal disc herniation, he became acutely sick last night.  With rapid shallow breaths and pale gums, I knew something was seriously wrong.  An internist at the emergency clinic was able to identify fluid in the space around his heart, most likely from an undetected heart tumor.  Knowing there was no cure, and reluctant to allow him to be in pain, we decided to prevent further suffering and say goodbye.

We often joked about Guster being our first child, but in reality he played a role in between a friend and a child.  With us since marriage, moved around five times, and present to welcome three children, Guster helped define mine and Mattias' adult lives.  No matter how many times he stayed with other family members, he always knew his true home was with us.

It was only fitting that the entire family was present for the final goodbyes.  Linus and Magnus chose to stay for the euthanasia, asking all the "Why" questions whose answers are important for them to learn early on in life.  As Guster was there to witness the beginning of Linus' life, Linus was there at the end of Guster's.

Making Memories

For the past 11 years we made a tradition of cutting down our own Christmas tree.  We pack a warm beverage and snacks, and wander the farm while deliberating the candidates for our annual tree.  This year, for the first time, I was tempted to pick one up at the nearby tree lot.  But I was told "Don't be the one to break the tradition.  Let them decide when they're ready to break it."

So this past Sunday, as cold and rainy as it was, we bundled up and drove to the Christmas tree farm. I made hot cocoa and packed along my patience-- the boys have been particularly obnoxious lately.  

For the first time ever, we unanimously agreed on a single tree.  It had to be shorter than me with branches strong enough to hold lots of ornaments.

Linus' least favorite part is the sawing.

The tree was small enough to fit in our trunk, so no need to tie it onto the roof.  I cranked up my favorite holiday music, the "Chipmunks Christmas" album and tried to be merry on the way home.

We were irritated to discover we had 2 strings of lights that were partially functional.  After 30 minutes and 10 f* bombs, we started trimming the tree.

Despite the happy pictures, I was a grumpy bitch for most of the day.  Young children, including mine, can be incredibly irritating and are always a lot of work.  Most of the time we go out and do things with the boys because it brings us joy.  But sometimes, mainly for the sake of tradition, we do things because we're contributing to the kids' compilation of experiences that will be remembered as their childhood.  We're "Making memories." Mattias reminds me. This weekend was no exception.