Moving Parts

There is only about one hour of restful, quiet time in our household: the time between the boys' bedtime and when Mattias and I get ready for bed.  That hour is most often spent keeping up with the business of life; paying bills, answering emails, or catching up on work unfinished during our work day. But many evenings we find ourselves too tired to do anything useful, so we drink wine, talk, and catch up on our favorite TV shows. Our household feels like a machine of many moving parts.

The boys with Todd, the foster kitten

And like most machines with moving parts, it's prone to frequent breakdowns and needs constant repair.  With two kids life felt do-able, manageable even.  I kept up my appearances, knew what I was cooking for dinner most nights, and even had a little time for ambitious craft projects.  With three kids I am more in the business of damage control, and actual physical containment.

Pro tip #1: repurpose those Amazon.com and Diapers.com boxes to create a jail cell for your active baby. Pro tip #2: Bath tubs with sliding shower doors double as containment facilities for multiple children.

This past Thanksgiving was our first Thanksgiving in CA together, with both sides of our family.  We also had the pleasure of dog sitting our pal, Lucy, whose only allegiance is to food.  Since Anders loves to throw food on the floor, he had himself a worshipper.

We spent much of the long weekend outdoors in t-shirts.  No chill in the air, or need for burning wood in the fireplace, it didn't really feel like the holidays were upon us.  We met both the Harris and Cody families at Rancho San Antonio Open Space Reserve in Cupertino.  A one mile hike led to a working farm with animals, where we picnicked together.

The following day we went to Sunol Regional Wilderness.  We were thrilled to see hundreds of wild turkeys roaming around, along with grazing cattle. While the landscape lacks the vibrant color of the forests back East, it is beautiful in its simplicity.

Shortly after returning to SF I kicked into full-on-Christmas-crazy mode.  That meant putting up all the Christmas decorations and baking a double batch of pepparkakor.  How do I have time you ask?  I don't.  But there will be Christmas merry making damn it, even if it makes everyone unhappy.

Even with all the moving parts and self imposed holiday craziness, the more relaxed members of the family find a way slow things down.  They remind me to drink my coffee while it's hot and stay in my pajamas.

It's not so much stalling the machine, as it is recharging the battery.

Worst. Baby. Ever.

Don't let his handsome looks fool you, this baby is bad.  If we weren't completely done having kids, I'd be looking to return him (or at least upgrade to a newer model).

 He gets into everything (the toilet) and wants a taste (below, a soggy stick that was marinating in standing water).  He follows me relentlessly around our condo, clambering up my legs and pulling my pants down in the process.

 No need to worry about Anders getting ignored, because he's learned how to get our attention.  1) He refuses to eat anything on a spoon.  He feels like he can do it himself, or even better, he can feed it to Gus.  2) He shrieks when things aren't going his way.  I remember thinking about a certain shrieking family member "Why can't everyone ignore it so he learns  that he won't get what he wants by screaming?"  Now I know-- you do whatever it takes to get the baby to shut the hell up.  Talk about insanity inducing...

There is a sweetness to his neediness, though.  I look at Linus and Magnus, and remember when they used to need/want me so much.  It won't be long before Anders follows suit and joins the Brothers Karlsson circus, might was well enjoy his baby-ness before he turns into a toddler.

Maintaining It

Maintaining it, holding it together, keeping up: all different ways of describing how hard we work to keep from getting buried with the everyday tasks of life.  Cooking three meals a day, laundry, housecleaning and dishes; all multiplied by 5.  Add in appointments, school volunteering, and work, and factor in that our entire apartment is a high traffic zone: we are just a swirling storm of testosterone, toys, and dirt.  You don't have wait long, shit is always hitting the fan.  

Nevertheless, we make time to do things that are important to us, like showing the boys the joy of scientific discovery.  Magnus got a microscope for his birthday, so we smashed a fly (and other things) and looked at them up close.

Notice Anders in the background on the floor by himself, crying.

We also make an effort to be outside since October is the most reliably warm month in San Francisco.  There is a beautiful little beach near Crissy Field, that on windless days has no waves.

 

Later that same day we met the Cody family at the Presidio for one of the last Off the Grid picnics. Great food trucks/booths paired with decent bar offerings of sangria, margaritas, and beer surprisingly attracted a lot of families with young children. They should rename the event Boozy Family Sundays.

We also took home a bottle feeder foster kitten for the weekend, and named him Todd.  Linus has been asking for a kitten for a while, and I figured this was a way to help the shelter and let Linus experience caring for a kitten.

The night before we returned Todd back to the shelter Linus drew this picture to hang on his cage, then cried himself to sleep.  It was heartbreaking to see how attached he was, but the next day Linus dutifully explained to Magnus the purpose of fostering before saying his good byes.  

For Halloween, I spent hours researching how to make homemade Ninja Turtle costumes.  Believe it or not, bright green sweatshirts and pants are hard to find!  After doing the math and getting in touch with my sane side, I decided to buy the ready made costumes at Target.  Everyone was happy, especially Mattias who's always trying to get me to take the easy way out and stress less.  So here we are as Ninja Turtles and foot soldiers:

Between the Halloween class party and activities, and the school wide parade, not much learning went on at Linus' school that day.

Since this was our first time Trick or Treating in San Francisco, none of us knew what to expect.  Earlier in the morning I met a parent who surprised me by saying many of the houses in our neighborhood gave out candy.  And boy did they!  The boys had a great time climbing up the stairs of fancy Victorian houses, while I had a fun time catching a peak at the inside of those fancy houses :)

After getting a fair amount of candy we strolled up to Grove Street, which is blocked off to cars for a family Halloween festival. Anders got tired pretty early, so we made it home well before 8 o'clock to count the booty.  We're pretty sure Magnus ate 1/3 of his candy sitting in the stroller on the way home.

It's been almost a month since our last blog; truthfully we've a hard time lugging the nice camera out with us.  Our hands are physically and figuratively very, very full.  I'm always thinking of ways to make life run more smoothly.  I tried waking up earlier to get things done or exercise, but then the kids started waking up earlier, too.  I've thought about getting a house cleaner, but our place is so small it gets really dirty within 24 hours.  Every now and then I rack my brain for ideas on how to be more efficient, and I come up with nothing.  The hard truth is that raising a family is just a whole lot of work.

The real challenge is trying not to be so hard on myself.  I constantly tell myself "I can do more, I can push harder." However we all have limits, and I think I've reached mine.  Compared to earning straight A's as an undergrad and getting through vet school, I can honestly say I'm working harder now than I have in my entire life.  So I remind myself that "I'm doing my best, and living the best version of my life."  I'm  learning to let go and feel OK with not being in control-- that means that the house is often times messy and sometimes downright dirty.  I've also started to run a few times a week, early in the morning before I start work, to give myself the illusion of personal time and space.  And it's working!  After a lifetime of being driven to achieve and grow, I'm just happy to be maintaining it.

Off the Grid

Growing up, did you have a place that was pure magic?  A place to explore and let loose, where everything seemed to be in its right place?  For me, I remember exploring a jungle-y area just outside our subdivision in the Philippines.  There was a small stream running through it, where Alvin and I would catch (and fry) tiny little fishes.  For my boys, the Karlsson cabin on the South Fork of the American River is that place.  They had such a marvelous time over Labor Day that we immediately scheduled a return visit in mid-October.

We left late last Friday night, and were amazed by how many young people flocked to our city and neighborhood, at the same time we were making our escape.  The boys were impressed by the city lights and were excited about crossing the "New Bay Bridge" for the very first time.

We got in pretty late and put the boys straight into their comfy new cabin bunk bed.  By morning, they were busy exploring and noting the differences since their last visit.  The water was colder!  The leaves were changing colors!   Linus has been really immersed in his drawing and writing since school started.  Here he had a spiral bound notebook to record his observations, because he believes that he is a real scientist.

Mattias and Magnus had an unofficial SpikeGadgets LLC board meeting.  Back in Virginia they talked to each other at least 2 hours a day, here in California it all gets compressed into weekend conversations over  breakfast/lunch/dinner.  

My parents drove up for the day and brought toys and super delicious chicken fajitas.  Most of the time was spent by the river or lounging on the sunny deck.

                                       

By the evening it started to get a little chilly, so we started a campfire.  Nothing entertains a group of boys/men like a pile of burning stuff.

Early the next morning Kerstin and I took the big boys to Apple Hill, to (you guessed it) pick some apples.  Anyone who really knows me is aware of my fruit picking obsession.  It was a gorgeous morning, but unfortunately many of the apple varieties were fully picked or over ripe. We managed to get a small box for eating and baby food making.

After apple picking we found a pumpkin patch where the pumpkins are in a field connected to a vine.  Not lined up like a bunch of inmates awaiting roll call.  

After some more eating and napping, and putzing around we finally got around to make s'mores.  Last trip I brought jumbo marshmallows, so Kerstin & Magnus decided to one up me with giant marshmallows.  They were so big that the centers were almost impossible to melt, prolapsing outside the s'more when squished between two graham crackers.

You can see the marshmallow prolapse here, and it's not pretty.

I know there are people out there who don't like camping or outdoorsy stuff, but I will never really understand where they're coming from.  Yes, you get a little dirty and there are bugs.  However there is something to be said for unplugging, and disconnecting with everyone except those who are most important to you.  Besides (and Magnus will agree), s'mores taste better with a little dirt in them.